Sranda texty a povídky

english webdesign Odkazy Přidat RSS Obrázky Texty Home

Pokyn vedoucího

Pozor, toto neni zadna sranda, to je realita, opravdovy pokyn vedouciho ridiciho pracovnika slovenske pobocky CxxPxxu zamestnancum...... pry.

From: CxxPxx Head Quarters
To: All Slovak Speaking Staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our office in Slovakia that offending language is commonly used by our Slovak speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

Words like jebal pes, kurva zivot, kokot and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
You will not say dojebal when someone makes a mistake, or srali na mna if you see someone being reprehended, or hovno when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb srat and jebat are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as kokotenko, kokot, jebnuty or hajzel.
Lack of determination will not be referred to as srac nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as kokotko.
Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as kokotiny.
Do not say chod jebat svoju mamu if somebody is persistent; do not add pojeb, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say dojebali sme to (refer to item 2) nor na toto sa vyjebeme when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say chod do pice nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with,"Co do pice chces!?".
Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners skurveny dodavatel.
Do not say chodte do pice s tou kokotinou when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer metrovy kokot do tvojho zadku when your assistance is required.
You should never call partner representatives as jebnuta svina or skurveny hajzel.
The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as jebatelna pica, skurvene hovado or kokotsky buzerant.
Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say mozem si s tymto vytriet zadok! Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

Thank you.
Dxxgxx Gxxoxxy

.

Sranda texty a povídky

Pokyn vedoucího

Seznam textů a povídek