From Driving Exams:
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too shit-faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?
A: It would be tough to be a shithead all day long.
List of texts and stories
- City Boy
- How To Install Software: A 12-Step Program
- A Day at the Bar
- A Divine Sign
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Religions
- How Do You Translate That?
- One liners
- Have you ever wondered?
- Creative Answering Machine Messages
- The Biggest Lies of All
- Bumper Sticker
- Real Church Announcements
- In the Courtroom
- From Driving Exams
- Fun in elevator
- From Students' Exams
- Kids - questions and answers
- Murphy's Military Laws
- Newspaper Headlines
- How to Pass Your Exams
- How to Order Pizza by Phone
- Programmer Bulb Jokes
- Real Advertisements
- Fun With Your Roommate
- The World's Thinnest Books