The Biggest Lies of All
The check is in the mail.I'll respect you in the morning.
I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.
It's only a cold sore.
You get this one, I'll pay next time.
My wife doesn't understand me.
Trust me, I'll take care of everything.
Of course I love you.
I am getting a divorce.
Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
I never inhaled.
It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
I never watch television except for PBS.
..but we can still be good friends.
She means nothing to me.
Dont worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."
I gave at the office.
Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.
I'll call you later.
We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.
Read my lips: no new taxes
I've never done anything like this before
Now, I'm going to tell you the truth
It's supposed to make that noise.
I *love* your new _____!
..then take a left. You can't miss it.
Yes, I did.
Don't worry, it's OK-I'm sterile.
List of texts and stories
- City Boy
- How To Install Software: A 12-Step Program
- A Day at the Bar
- A Divine Sign
- Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Religions
- How Do You Translate That?
- One liners
- Have you ever wondered?
- Creative Answering Machine Messages
- The Biggest Lies of All
- Bumper Sticker
- Real Church Announcements
- In the Courtroom
- From Driving Exams
- Fun in elevator
- From Students' Exams
- Kids - questions and answers
- Murphy's Military Laws
- Newspaper Headlines
- How to Pass Your Exams
- How to Order Pizza by Phone
- Programmer Bulb Jokes
- Real Advertisements
- Fun With Your Roommate
- The World's Thinnest Books